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Sharing the Journey from Bereaved to Shining Light Parent

About Dr. Lucy Hone

Dr. Lucy Hone is from New Zealand


Jo Soldan:
Lucy I wanted to give you some feedback. As you know, we use your model as part of the basis for our bereavement group here at Maggie’s Cardiff and find it really helpful. I was speaking to one visitor the other day about getting through his first Christmas. Despite him being from a group that I feel have not engaged greatly with the jig saw, he said to me ‘I think about your jig saw often’ and talked confidently about the  things that he had used to help him get through Christmas. I love that he had internalised it visually and the meaning of it and it was clearly helping him.
I am asking visitors to write short reviews of book in our library to help others make good book choices – attached is one written about your book.
We also received the attached card and gift from a participant of a previous group. I feel bad taking what is essentially your feedback so wanted to share!!
Warm wishes, Jo 
Jo Soldan
Clinical Psychologist
Shawna Longford:
My name is Shawna, and I am a registered nurse in Canada. I work in a hospital. I am writing a self help book about resilience, burnout, PTSD, etc. This will be geared to nurses. 
I was very inspired by your TED talk “3 secrets of resilient people”, and would like to have your permission to include sections of your talk in this book. 
You are teaching some of the skills I hope we can pass along to nurses to retain them and help them heal.
Thank you for your time, and your valuable work.
Cheers, Shawna Longford
John Jones:

Today I had the privilege of hearing your presentation ‘3 secrets of resilient people’
This was the first time that I have felt some hope since I suffered a tragedy 7 years ago.
My eldest son Daryl Jones was killed in Yemen in 2013 by a United States drone missile and he was then branded as New Zealand’s first terrorist.
I was hounded by media for a long time wanting a story, which I refused.
The media decided to present their story by putting my whole family’s life in print and on television for all of New Zealand to see.
I wasn’t able to grieve, I was too busy avoiding media and bouts of persecution.
I lost many friends, was judged as a bad father and felt such guilt and shame.
My marriage ended and not long after she died of breast cancer which I feel was brought on by the stress of the incident.
I went to a counsellor looking for help but he laughed when I shared my story stating it sounded like an episode from days of our lives - I walked out and never sought help again.
Recently just when I thought I was starting to heal, Stuff released my story again to coincide with the sentencing on the mosque shooter – I was forced to relive the whole incident again.
I had tears in my eyes today when you told the story of the loss of your precious daughter.
Your words gave me such hope
God I wish I had known your 3 points for surviving 6 years ago.
I am so thankful that you are in a position to help countless people who are hurting - being able to give them a lifeline which can change their lives.
I have taken hold of your advice and will make it part of my life to finally heal and move on from this nightmare.
So thank you for your valuable words Dr Lucy, you are such an amazing person.
Kind regards,
John Jones

Caroline Butland:
I hope you don’t mind me emailing you directly but when Aidan wanted to give me a heads up (very kindly) and asked if I knew that you’d also lost a child, I looked you up and I clearly remember the photos and media coverage of your gorgeous daughter.
I lost my then 16 year old son in a car accident too, in 2015 – he was also an innocent passenger heading on a scout weekend to the snow. 
Having listened to some of your Ted Talks and short videos, I can so understand you and relate to what you share – the absolute disbelief, the ‘stuff’ that people tell you as you mention, about possible divorce etc… and so much more, while you’re trying to comprehend what’s just happened and how you’ll survive without your child physically in your life.
I haven’t had the training you’ve had but having lost my parents to cancer and heart trouble while I was still at school and having to then care for my older brother who has cerebral palsy, I’ve learnt to cope and learnt resilience I guess.  I’m pleased to say that like you, I look on the bright side of life and my faith and friends have helped hugely. I always try and look for the good in people/situations and appreciate what I have.
I’m so lucky to have such wonderful, caring colleagues, friends and of course my gorgeous son (19) and husband of almost 24 years. We are blessed that we have stuck together through all this and it’s made us stronger by being together.
Thanks you so much for reading – I just wanted to touch base and I really look forward to hearing you speak on 21 August when you visit us and hopefully meeting you. 
Take care xx
Caroline Butland  
Executive PA to the Principal
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