Dana Oschner's Validation with her son Travis through Drew Cali

After I registered, however, I didn’t receive the link to the reading. As the start time was quickly approaching, I sent a message, and Irene sent me the link—just in time!

Sure enough, as soon as Drew started talking to Kathy, I knew Travis would be coming through. I just had to be patient. After Kathy’s reading, Drew started with another mom. So many validations came through for her, and yet every time something didn’t resonate with her, I knew it was Travis. Still, I remained patient. If Travis can be patient, I can be too! LOL.

He finally got his opening. I wish I could remember exactly how it all unfolded, but when Drew asked which things could be from Travis, I had quite a list:

~ December: The month his sister crossed.

~ Dirt bikes and his friend Matt: Matt was Travis’s friend, and they rode dirt bikes and quads together at the dunes in Oregon. Matt now has a son named after Travis who races dirt bikes competitively. And yes, we still have one of Travis’s bikes that our grandkids ride.

~ Jersey and black jacket: I still have Travis’s football jersey, and he was buried in his black letterman’s jacket. Drew also knew that Travis was buried, not cremated. The jersey also ties into the number 23. Although Travis always wore #32, one year in basketball he couldn’t get 32 and had to choose #23.

~ Scott: My uncle who crossed.

~ Phil: Both my biological father and my stepfather were named Phil, and both have since crossed. My stepdad was one of Travis’s favorite people in life.

~ Julie: My sister-in-law. At the time of Travis’s crossing, my younger brother was the very best support to my husband and me. He was there for everything—from the hospital and life-support decisions to going with me to the mortuary to make arrangements. He always said he would probably never marry and that my children were the closest he would ever have to children of his own. (Not in a weird way! LOL.) Within a year of Travis crossing, my brother was introduced to the perfect woman for him, and for our family. They have since married and brought a son into our lives: Lucas Travis. I love knowing that Travis is aware of all of this!

~ March: Drew brought up the month of March. Our grandson, who looks and acts so much like Travis, was born in March, five years after Travis crossed.

~ Left and came back: My oldest daughter, who was married two months after Travis crossed, recently divorced and moved back home with her boys.

~ German heritage, family members, and the green-and-white blanket: Drew asked if we were German. Yes! He also asked if my husband’s father had passed. Yes! Then he asked about a green-and-white blanket someone had made for Travis. Yes again!

~ Dancing with Wolves: Drew brought up the movie Dances with Wolves. He said I was like the character Stands With A Fist. That is exactly me! Even more amazingly, that very morning I had received an email from Fandango saying that Dances with Wolves was available to watch for free, and I had told my daughter I was going to watch it!

~ Bitterness toward his biological dad: Travis’s biological father and I separated when Travis was nine months old. He never saw his biological father again. Whenever I asked Travis if he wanted me to arrange contact, he would say no. That wasn’t his dad.

Although I never planned on getting married again; I had already been divorced twice; my now-stepson convinced his dad to ask me out when Travis was three. For about the first month we dated, all of the kids came on every date! I had twin daughters who were eight and Travis, who was three; Virgil had a five-year-old son.

Then Travis asked Virgil if he would be his new dad.

Virgil told him, “YES.”

We have now been married for almost 35 years.

Drew said that Virgil was Travis’s hero, and when he asked if Virgil was in the room, Virgil walked up to the camera—wearing a Superman shirt.

Finally, Drew mentioned that Travis liked to party and that this was connected to how he crossed. That was true. Drew knew it involved hard liquor. Travis was 19 and had been playing drinking games with his girlfriend’s parents, drinking Jägerbombs—Jägermeister, a 70-proof German liqueur, mixed with Red Bull. He passed from acute alcohol poisoning.

Drew said Travis was telling me, “I’m really sorry, Mom.”

In life, Travis was always afraid of disappointing my husband and me. We were never, ever disappointed in him. He was the kindest, funniest, strongest, most fiercely protective defender of the underdog we have ever known.

So much life has happened since Travis left, but I am so happy to know that he is still right here, keeping tabs on all of us.

~Dana Oschner