Spreading Sunshine - Permission to Dream Again
by Elizabeth Boisson
Early on in our marriage, my husband and I created a beautiful dream board with all the places that we wanted to travel to as well as the home we wanted to build for our future family. We even taped pictures on the bathroom mirrors and refrigerator. We were so hopeful about our life together, but we knew that we had to be intentional as well. Dreaming is great but without actions to make those dreams become a reality, that’s all they are, dreams.
Without a doubt, after Andy moved to Heaven, we lost our ability to hope or dream about anything big or exciting. As time passed, it almost felt like a betrayal to the grief and loss that we felt to allow our minds to travel beyond the pain. Shock, trauma, and grief are all natural components of this journey, but little by little we allowed the light back into our lives.
The first time that we planned a trip just for fun was uncomfortable, but we knew that we needed, no we actually wanted to live again. While some of the smiles and laughter were tainted with sorrow, the more we did it, the more it became natural. We had more to accomplish in this lifetime. We had unfinished dreams and new ones to create. Yes, we had new ones to create!!
I have said this many times in my previous writings that if the tables were reversed and your child was still here and you were across the veil, wouldn’t you want your child to flourish? That is exactly what we thought about every time we ventured out into living again. Because aren’t you the best example of who your child is? How will people remember your child if not for you? How will he or she be remembered, in sadness or in joy? We are all the living representative of our precious child!
While this concept may be inconceivable for those of you who are new to this journey, and you feel immediate rejection to the possibility of a flourishing life. Just tuck it away for you to look at later. I have found that the past ten years since Andy moved, have been filled with a plethora of information that often I can’t process at that moment. However, I have been so grateful that I have been intentional about allowing myself to hear and experience information that is not only uncomfortable but sometimes quite painful. This has given me the platform from which I can stretch and grow, as well as learn to dream again.
And yes, I have big, big dreams and goals which no longer feel uncomfortable. I want more out of this gift of life. Don’t be afraid to try it out, you may find that you like it. All the while, our children are clapping and cheering us on to reach for the stars.