Chutes and Ladders - LeAnn Hull
by Elizabeth Boisson
Chutes and Ladders
I can clearly remember playing the board game Chutes and Ladders with my kids over and over throughout their childhood. We all loved that game as well as many others such as Monopoly and The Game of Life. But none stuck in my mind more than Chutes and Ladders. Little did I know that that game would actually become my reality and a great reminder about my journey through life.
If you haven’t ever played that game, the gist of it is to roll the dice and climb up the ladder based on the number that you roll and hope that you don’t land on a chute or slide that will send you back down the path. Some chutes were fairly short while others would send you all the way back to the beginning. Obviously, the goal is to finish the game first and avoid all the chutes possible and only climb the ladders. Doesn’t this just sound like your life? Well, it is a perfect description of mine.
There are days in this journey that feel like I am making progress on the path of healing after losing my Andy to suicide, and then I wake up one morning and down the chute I go. While I am ten years into this and the ladders are more prominent than the chutes, it is something that shouldn’t surprise any of us when it happens to us. Healing isn’t linear. It will be filled with waves of joy and happiness, then suddenly overcome by an occasional wave of sadness. What I can promise you is that the waves of sadness are relatively infrequent now and for the most part the waters are smooth and gloriously nourishing.
But, when I do take a tumble back down the path of healing, it can catch me off guard and feel discouraging. How can I have come so far and then forget all that I have learned in just a moments notice? I guess I’m human and need to give myself a break and a great big hug. What we have all experienced is life changing to the very core of our soul and will require patience, tenderness, forgiveness, and most of all persistence. Keep on keeping on as the saying goes.
So, no matter where you are in your process of healing, maybe you are brand new and just beginning, or maybe you can see the light at the end of the game. Don’t stop rolling the dice and climbing the ladder towards hope and healing. Every time you try again, you are saying yes to life and reaffirming that you are here for a purpose and that You Matter!
Shine on, Moms and Dads
~LeAnn Hull, Andy's Proud Mama and the founder of Andy Hull's Sunshine Foundation.
LeAnn is the author of How to Live When You Want to Die, available on Amazon. She is also the Co-Affiliate Leader with Sophia Mecum of our new group, Helping Parents Heal - Healing After Suicide.
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