Danielle Chiaro's Validation with her son Luca through Jennifer Brazier
Posted
-
- Sep
- 24
- 2026
by Elizabeth Boisson
I am still fairly new to Helping Parents Heal, and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this beautiful group.
On Sunday, I had a meeting until 1:30 p.m. California time, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it to Jennifer Brazier’s session on time. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to join the Zoom late. I had a little time and figured I could simply listen in for the second half.
What happened next shocked me.
Right after I joined, Jennifer began talking about someone new who had come through, and every single thing she said resonated deeply with me, from beginning to end. I hadn’t expected anything like this, as I had been skeptical about mediums. I was even more surprised to find myself typing in the chat, confirming that everything she was saying was true!
I was in disbelief, yet in that moment, I knew this was real.
My husband encouraged me to write everything down afterward because Jennifer had shared so much, and the experience was overwhelming. He didn’t want me to forget any of it. Here are my notes from that extraordinary session.
1. His beautiful, thick hair and my mum
Jennifer said a woman was bringing someone in with her and fixing his thick, amazing hair. I knew immediately that this was my mum, who transitioned in June 2020. She used to cut Luca’s hair when he was younger and was always trying to make it look nice.
Jennifer said he was very good-looking and obsessed with his hair. Yes! My Luca was very particular about his appearance. He lifted weights at the gym every day and was really into health and nutrition, but more than anything, he cared about his hair! He was constantly fixing it and trying new products to make it look good.
One of his teachers even wrote to me in January:
“He spent more time fluffing his hair (I'm sure you can visualize the hair fluffing.) He was so tall, I can't even tell you how many times I almost tripped over his legs sticking out. But he still had that same super chill attitude, making my near injuries comical.”
2. He didn’t like getting his hair cut
Jennifer said Luca didn’t like having his hair cut. This was absolutely true! He hated getting haircuts, and they always stressed him out. After my mum passed, we tried so many different hairdressers, but nobody could ever get it perfectly right.
3. The chalkboard and classroom
Jennifer mentioned a chalkboard and a classroom. Luca was 16 and a junior in high school.
One of his teachers from his freshman year wrote to us in January:
“I remember as a freshman, all of his classmates constantly called him ‘nonchalant Luca.’ They wrote it all over the board and reminded me almost daily how nonchalant Luca was. I even remember emailing home about his classmates writing his name everywhere and always calling on him. I always wondered to myself why Luca got so much attention.”
4. His love of gaming
Jennifer said Luca loved gaming. Yes, he was an avid gamer, and gaming was a huge part of his life and his friendships.
This year, his friends even created a memorial for him inside their Minecraft world. We also made memorial stickers for his friends featuring Luca’s Minecraft avatar.
5. He wanted us to know he felt no pain
Jennifer said Luca wanted us to know that he hadn’t felt any pain. She described it as the most beautiful sleep, with no suffering.
This was perhaps the most meaningful part of the entire reading for me.
One of my most pressing and difficult questions has been whether Luca felt pain or suffered in the hospital, especially because he could no longer communicate with us at that point. Not knowing has been a tremendous source of pain and trauma for me.
Hearing Jennifer share this brought me such comfort.
6. He wasn’t at home when he passed, and there was confusion about what happened
Jennifer said Luca wasn’t at home when he passed, that his passing was relatively quick, and that there was some confusion surrounding how it happened.
All of this was true.
Luca was in the hospital, and everything happened within one week. On the first day, he was tested for the flu, and the result was negative. The doctors performed hundreds of tests throughout the week, and they all came back negative.
On the seventh and final day, he tested positive for the flu, so that was recorded as the reason for his passing. But it never made sense to me because he had tested negative when he first arrived. I wondered whether he had contracted the flu during his hospital stay and whether that diagnosis was accurate.
7. December and the holidays
Jennifer said she was hearing December. Yes, Luca suddenly became sick in December and transitioned on December 28, 2025.
She also said he wanted us to know that we could celebrate in December.
This was especially meaningful because we had literally been discussing this very subject with our grief group over dinner the night before!
Luca loved Christmas, but he had spent the holidays in the hospital this past year. How we would approach December and the holidays in the future had been weighing heavily on my heart.
8. His love of animals
Jennifer said Luca loved animals. Yes! He was always begging us for a pet.
We finally agreed to let him dog-sit for a friend over winter break as a test to see whether he could handle caring for a dog on his own. Sadly, he only had two days with the dog before he became sick and went into the hospital.
The dog stayed with us at home throughout the week Luca was hospitalized and even joined us for his burial.
The dog had been silent, but as Luca’s coffin was lowered into the ground, he began to whimper.
9. He now knows how many people loved him
Jennifer said Luca hadn’t realized how many people loved him or how many friends he had.
This was something we had talked about after seeing how many people attended his burial, despite the very short notice and the fact that it was out of town.
One of his friends even flew home from Costa Rica with just one day’s notice to be there.
Luca had sometimes questioned whether he had “true” friends and whether they really liked him. Seeing the incredible outpouring of love made it clear to us just how many people cared about him.
It was comforting to hear that he now knew this, too.
10. We had two services
Jennifer said we had held two services. Yes, we had a burial service out of town, followed by a religious service in town the following evening.
11. Football
Jennifer mentioned football.
Luca loved throwing a football around, especially when we were just hanging out at the beach. Those moments are among my fondest memories of him.
I had often found myself thinking, I hope he’s throwing a football with someone in heaven.
12. My ponytail
Jennifer said Luca was showing her that I usually wear my hair in a ponytail. This is true, although I happened to be wearing it down that day.
Jennifer described Luca trying to put my hair up in that moment.
The following day was a major religious holiday, during which we held a memorial service. As the rabbi spoke about Luca, I was feeling an overwhelming sense of grief.
At that very moment, I swear I could feel Luca’s fingers playing with my hair, as though he were trying to put it up, just as Jennifer had described the day before.
13. Talking to Luca in my head
Jennifer said I had been talking to Luca in my head.
Yes, I have been trying this as part of a relatively new therapy I began, adapted from EMDR.
I have only “heard” a response once, but it was so distinctly Luca, with his own humor and personality.
Jennifer’s words about this were another meaningful validation for me.
In just a few minutes, Jennifer described so much of who Luca was and what I have been experiencing since December 28, 2025.
When I look back at everything she shared, I count so many specific details that resonated with me. There was not one thing she said that I didn’t immediately understand or recognize. There was probably even more that I can’t recall.
I cannot begin to describe how much this experience meant to me. I feel so grateful and so fortunate that I followed that unexpected urge to join the Zoom, even though I was late.
Thank you so much for this amazing session and for the beautiful community you have created through Helping Parents Heal.
I heard that you like to receive validation stories, so I hope I have shared this in the right way! If there is a different format you prefer, please let me know.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Danielle Chiaro 💙