Jennifer Holloway's Validation with her son Gabriel through Amy Utsman
Posted
-
- Aug
- 21
- 2026
by Elizabeth Boisson
My son, Gabriel, was 10 years old when he passed away. He passed from several systemic infections. Amy Utsman said she thought it was cancer. The infections he had are often what eventually take the life of someone with cancer.
Amy said he liked playing basketball. It was a love-hate relationship. He did a couple of basketball camps. I always thought it was a waste of time and money because he would never run and spent at least half the time with me in the bleachers. After he passed, we received a photo and a card from his coach and the older children who helped run the camp. I realized then that it wasn't about how well he played (or didn't); it was about the relationships he was forming.
Gabriel was a big guy. He weighed 170 lbs when he passed. We always figured he would be tall and big when he grew up, like his dad.
His last pair of shoes was a pair of bright blue basketball shoes with a phoenix on them. He didn't know how to tie his shoes, so I would have to tie them, and he would slip in and out of them.
Gabriel was autistic, had ADHD, and we suspect he also had Tourette's. He was very smart. His favorite subject was art, but he excelled in math.
The one-in-three reference relates to the three children I have lost. I lost two pregnancies before Gabriel. He does have a grandmother who passed a couple of years before he did. He struggled with losing her.
Gabriel could be difficult at times. If he didn't want to do something, he didn't do it. It took bribing and loss of privileges to get him to do things he didn't want to do. A couple of months before he passed, his behavior changed for the better. He was always polite in public and at school.
I drive for a living. I absolutely love driving fast, but one speeding ticket will cost me my job. Gabriel would often watch my speedometer and freak out if I was going a few mph over the limit. He would get anxious and say, "Mom! The speed limit is 60! You're going 63!"
Gabriel loved to cuddle. He would lie down next to me and demand that I cuddle him. He would lie on my arm, and I would put my other arm around him. He would immediately start floundering around and say I was cuddling him too tightly. I would tell him to let me up then. He would smile and say, "No! Cuddle me more!"
Gabriel loved animals. He wanted to rescue dogs and be a missionary when he grew up. He used to help me take care of wildlife and the other pets we had. Other mediums have mentioned him being around animals. He left behind his ESA dog.
I have a few shirts honoring Gabriel. I always order him one in his favorite color. I put one of my shirts on today and told him to mention it.
I think the present with the bow he referenced relates to the presents I give away in his honor. I created an Easter basket he would have loved and found another autistic boy to give it to. I plan on buying him birthday and Christmas gifts and giving those away, too.
I use my social media platforms to share his and my story. Whenever I come across a parent who is struggling, I always tell them that cells are made up of atoms, atoms are energy, and energy never dies; it merely changes form.
I don't normally dream—or at least I don't remember my dreams—but I had one dream with my son. He was in my bedroom and was 100% healed. I felt it, and it radiated from him. We didn't do anything special in my dream. He was simply there with me. Someone woke me up, and I tried to return to my dream but couldn't.
This photo is his handprint that he left on my living room window. Another medium referenced it. She said my son said it took me long enough to notice, and he laughed. Inside the handprint are tons of images. I feel like nearly every sign he sends me has many signs within it. It's like a mathematical equation that eventually adds up to the whole picture.
Thank you for helping me connect with my son.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Holloway