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Sharing the Journey from Bereaved to Shining Light Parent
Joe McQuillen's Validation from his son Christopher through Pauline Mason

Joe McQuillen's Validation from his son Christopher through Pauline Mason

  • Posted
    • Jan
    • 24
    • 2024
by Elizabeth Boisson

Christopher's Celebration of Life January 3rd/Joe McQuillen and his son Christopher

On January 3, 2016, my son Chris and three of his friends drowned in a lake in Wisconsin.  They were home from college and celebrating the last weekend of Christmas break.  With too much celebration and a recklessness that accompanies being twenty-one, four boys in layered clothing paddled out in a three-man canoe on a partially frozen lake and none of them made it back.

That event changed my life, as it would change any parents’ life.  It put me on a path to find where my boy Christopher went after he left this world.  That path has taken me to a thin places (places where the veil is thinnest between our worlds), to meet with mediums, and to finding a way to connect with my boy directly across the veil.  This was not a normal path for a blue-collar guy from Buffalo NY, but it’s the path I am on. 

My son wanted me to share his story along with my experience and hope with other parents who have found themselves in the same situation.  So together we have written two books (a third is in process along with a screenplay).  I have had the honor of speaking with groups in person and on zoom to share our story.  Chris has told me that the most important thing is Love and Service.  And so, on I go on our path.   

For the first three nights after Chris drowned, after a full day of arrangements and details, I would get on my knees as is my habit to pray.  But I would end my prayer with “we’re not good … you took my kid.”

On the third night I received a download that said “I didn’t take your son, his recklessness and free will caused him to come home early, but I welcomed him. “

It was only then that I knew in my soul that God didn’t take Chris.  But God was providing me the strength to go on.  There is a great line from the book The Shack, where God said to a father whose daughter had crossed over, “Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies”.

So, I live my life two ways now, one is to please my God.  And the other is to make my son proud.

Wednesday  January 3rd marked the eighth anniversary of Chris’ transition.  On the first anniversary his friends had an impromptu gathering at the grave.  We’ve  continued the tradition at the grave along with a reception at our home just a few miles from the cemetery.  Two years ago, we moved the celebration to January 1, as his friends had all graduated college and had joined the work force.  We hoped this would allow them to continue the tradition.  My wife Sally and I always feared that one day his friends’ lives wouldn’t allow them to participate, and no one would show.   At the assigned time cars began to pull into the circular lot at Sacred Heart Cemetery, and friends, and family began gathering at the grave. There were hugs, love, toasts, and stories.  We needn’t have worried.  Our Chris was still in the hearts of those in attendance and those that couldn’t make it. 

On Tuesday January 2nd I was sitting in my office when I saw a message on my phone from Irene at Helping Parents Heal.  They were having Pauline Mason do Gallery Readings, and a spirit came through that she just knew was my boy.  I joined the zoom meeting and received a message and so much validation from Christopher.

On January 3rd, the eight anniversary I spent time at the grave in the morning, connecting with Chris and returned in the evening to launch a Chines lantern into the nights sky.  The grave had some additional mementos and flowers since my morning visit. How much more proof of love does this father need to know that Chris is still loved and remembered.

In between visits I was asked by my friend Jen to do a Zoom presentation for a group of mediums that meet regularly. Of course, I said yes.

I said yes because I know what Chris expects from me.  Remember he tells me “ it’s about Love and Service.”  And the rest is just the details.

Joe is a shining light parent with an amazing wife and three children.  One on the other side.  He has written two Books with his son, My Search for Christopher on the Other Side and We’re Not Done Yet Pop; My Lessons from the Other SideHe is a grateful member of Helping Parents Heal

Please watch the YouTube video by clicking here

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