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Sharing the Journey from Bereaved to Shining Light Parent
The Wisdom of Greg - A Missed Opportunity

The Wisdom of Greg - A Missed Opportunity

  • Posted
    • May
    • 2
    • 2024
by Elizabeth Boisson
Written by Susan Van Oije with Bill and Greg
Bill is just an ordinary guy who has had extraordinary things happen to him since the passing of his son Greg. Susan writes it all down. The Calgary, Canada affiliate leaders are on an amazing journey with their son. 
"It's a missed opportunity."
That's what I was thinking when I recently visited a close relative of mine who lives far away from me - in more ways than one.
Let me be clear: I love her dearly. I just wish that, in this lifetime, I had been able to fully share with her the joys of the knowledge that my son Greg has given his Dad and I from the other side.
Greg passed almost 10 years ago, and in the beginning I shared with her some of the amazing signs that he sent to my husband Bill and I. After a year or so, I stopped talking to her about our experiences because she didn't ask to hear more. I couldn't understand why, because she adored Greg.
It really is like that old saying: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. It took Bill and I some time to accept that, because who wouldn't want to know that our loved ones who have passed are still with us? That we are eternal? We are Light and Love? We are all part of the One, our Source and God, who loves us so much? 
Not as many people as you think. Not even some of your close relatives and friends.
When Greg started to pull out all the stops to let us know he is still with us, seeing and hearing everything going on in our lives and offering guiding wisdom, Bill and I wanted to tell everyone who would listen about what was happening. For some time now, we've been much more discerning about who we share our experiences with. 
As much as we want to share our experiences with those closest to us, if they don't believe, there is really nothing we can do about it. Many Shining Light Parents know it can feel lonely at times, but we're not alone. We always have the safety of the Helping Parents Heal meetings, Facebook page and newsletter, where we can share the astounding signs, synchronicities, dreams and miracles that have opened our eyes and hearts. 
Bill and I know from connecting with other parents at our monthly Calgary Zoom meetings that this situation is quite prevalent. Bill says, "It's difficult to talk about these experiences with those who don't believe that it's true, and it can be especially hurtful if they're your relatives and friends, because you know it's all real and you want to share your excitement and amazement." 
Toward the end of my visit, because I always have hope and apparently have not learned to leave well enough alone, I asked my relative if she believes that Bill hears Greg talking in his head. She very diplomatically said, "I believe that you believe it, and it helps you." 
I replied that I was sad that she couldn't take that leap, that it was a missed opportunity, and I left it at that.
The visit gave me the chance to practice what I've often told other Shining Light Parents, that it's not for us to judge others who don't believe what we believe to be real and true. Not everyone gets it, and everyone gets it in their own time. Everyone is on their own journey of awakening. All we can do is be a light in the darkness for others to see and maybe become curious about.
As my trip ended, my relative was driving me to the airport for my flight home, and about 3 minutes before she dropped me off, the Metallica song 'Enter Sandman' started playing on her car radio. This just happens to be the number one song that Greg uses to communicate with his Dad and I. Bill and I have heard the song so often and always with perfect timing, but this was just over the top. At this point in my journey with Greg, nothing surprises me, but I was incredibly impressed by his emotionally powerful synchronicity.
It was in fact my relative's idea almost a decade ago to put the lyrics to 'Enter Sandman' in Greg's memory card that we handed out at his gathering of friends and family after his passing. She knew he loved the band, and that song in particular. 
As we said our goodbyes at the airport, I knew that what had just happened had a different effect on each of us. For me, it was a sign of epic proportions and meaning. For my dear relative, it was a coincidence that provided a loving reminder of Greg.
I got home and told Bill what had happened, that jaw-dropping moment when I knew Greg was in the car with us playing his favorite song. Bill immediately heard Greg say, "I was playing DJ Mom! But only one of you heard it."
Oh, the missed opportunity...
If you would like to hear more about our amazing experiences, Bill and I have twice spoken to HPH and the videos are available on the HPH YouTube channel: click here HPH welcomed Susan & Bill Van Oije, 'From Wow to How!' ( for our most recent video detailing the beautiful messages Greg gives us about how to live our best life in this very challenging place and grow our souls, and click here On February 3rd, Bill Van Oije spoke to Helping Parents Heal ( for the video in which Bill shares some of the astounding signs we've received from our son.

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