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Sharing the Journey from Bereaved to Shining Light Parent
Waiting for the Drums to Come In

Waiting for the Drums to Come In

  • Posted
    • Jun
    • 16
    • 2023
by Elizabeth Boisson

I have been feeling pretty down the last few days. Today on a walk I had a conversation with my son Koby and told him how much I was missing him and that I would appreciate one of his famous “knock my socks off” signs. He delivered tonight in my reading with Beth Lynch. I have been attending HPH Zoom medium sessions for about 2 1/2 years and find them healing, but since Koby has never come through I had convinced myself that he was “too cool” to communicate with me in front of an unknown audience. Near the start of the session Beth referred to someone known as Kody or Kodeman, someone who played in a 3 person band and she referenced a graduation. Koby aka Kobeman was in his 3 person band that had a lot of local notoriety from the age of 12 to 18 and his band played at their grade 7 graduation. In fact they played an original song and we used a lyric from that song as part of the epitaph on his gravestone….but it didn't stop there.   

As always Koby apologized for his passing and took responsibility ( it was fentanyl that took him after more than a decade struggle with mental health and substance misuse.). Beth specifically mentioned the name Michael (that is his Dad ), a happy birthday message  (his Dad had a birthday in May), the tapping of fingers ( Koby had Tourette’s Syndrome and used to do something that looked like tapping his fingers whenever he was excited ), my neck ( I had been to the physio TODAY to treat a problem with my neck ) and she kept mentioning  drums (While Koby played bass guitar, his band mate (now 33) recently sent me a song that he wrote to process his grief and in the song Koby was imagined as the drummer. The title of the song is “Waiting for the Drums to Come In…." and today I played it for my physio who had suffered a recent loss. I have included the song ( with the writer Anton’s permission) as it will resonate with any young person who has lost a close friend.

Then Beth referenced someone playing piano and asked me who Amy is. Well Koby and Amy Winehouse met at a resort in the Caribbean when we were there for a family reunion about 14 years ago. They were inseparable for about 10 days and she hung out with our family and Koby every day and at night she would play the piano and serenade my parents. Beth said Amy and Koby were making music together and working to help children to make music. This is something I have actually been told before. She said that Amy was hugging Koby so I grabbed the photo sitting on the bookshelf beside me. The picture speaks for itself! Wow…just…Wow!

I am so thankful for HPH which supports us in our grief and has nurtured my belief in the Spirit World. And thanks to Beth Lynch for an amazing evening!

Please click to the song Anton wrote for Koby by clicking here.  

~Jodie W, Koby's Mom

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